Behind the Words of a Reluctant Apology

Posted: November 23, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

One of the most noble things to do is to say “sorry” in the correct way. This means you must meet three criteria: “1) sorry, 2) what I did was wrong, 3) how can I make it up to you?” – Randy Pausch. Although, this full gesture is rare, it is indeed the proper way of apologizing to someone and letting them know that you mean it. However, because societal norms may perceive this as “weird” or “overboard” it rarely or never used or even thought about.

Aside from knowing how to apologize, the true nobility lies in someone giving up in order to preserve a worthy relationship. As the the criteria above implies, “a better person who understands the value of maintaining a good relationship tends to give up on an argument, but it’s definitely not because they were wrong.” It would be ideal if the opposing person understood this after the argument has stopped. Although, when we are not in emotional distress, we tend to be rational and understand this point as “obvious” and “simple,” when we are in distress, we may think differently or not at all. Therefore, we must learn to be adept in understanding each other and hopefully develop the ability to filter out what is most important during times of emotional distress. Because the decisions we make in these moments are rarely rational and may lead to inevitable regret. Know that friendship is extremely valuable and if it is easily lost then it better be over something WELL worth it!

P.S.: To those who apologize because they value relationship over their own ego, props to you because nothing else needs to be said.

To those who value ego over relationships, think again because it’s great to have friends who can put up with that; but sooner or later you may realize that it may not be as positive as it may seem.

~Open Our Minds

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